And Then there were 3

March 17th, 2009. St Patricks Day. 12:35PM in the Delivery Room. It was a perfect day. Perfect Labor, perfect delivery. Brett and I were there. Just the two of us. And then Trenton Alexander was born. Then there were 3. Three what? you ask? Three of us? Yes of course, Three children I had grown in my womb and delivered into this world? Yes. Three days after Brett and I's first Anniversary? Yes. But the biggest 3 I've ever heard. Three Chromosones in the Twenty First Spot. 3....There should be 2. Trisomy 21 they call it. Translating to 3 chromosones in the 21st spot. Down Syndrome. Down Syndrome. Down syndrome.
The "Catch nurse" saw it first. I hated her really that day. Poor lady just doing her job. I wanted to punch her. My baby was perfect. Why would she say that.
Then came the tests. The Ecko, The Xray, the EKG, the keeping my perfect son for hours in the nursery without telling me what they were doing and why. Then the biggest blow. His heart. His heart would need fixed. What? I hated that Doctor too. Wanted to punch him as well. Actually I felt like someone had punched me. In the stomach, in the face. My head was listening and trying to focus on what the Dr said. But I just couldn't. Atrioventricular Septal Defect? WHAT? I can't even say those words, not alone spell them. How on Earth am I ever going to get through this. It has to be a dream, someone is wrong, they are all wrong. Trenton is perfect, I am a mom 3 times over I know what I see. He's perfect.
I cried so much that day. Cried for Trenton, and Brett but mostly for myself. I mourned that person I used to be. The mother that could handle everything. The one who never imagined for one day that her children would be sick. I mourned for the life I had before I walked into that hospital that morning. I cried over that stupid number....3. I hated that number.
Then I left that hospital with my perfect son, pulled up my boot straps as daddy would say. And started to embark on this new life. A life without alot of things I used to have. But a life filled with the most love and joy I will ever feel. This I'm certain of. I know now we will be ok.
this is our journey. A journey of hurt and pain but a journey of fullfillment and joy beyond no other. I hope you share it with me.